Sleep?!

Sleep is a crazy thing.... how we have to be, who/what can put us to sleep, then the good or bad dreams. The affects of how much/little sleep we get. Some fall asleep instantly and others takes a while. Some sleep though anything and others nothing. Some sleep though the night and others wake up though out. However, what I've seen is; just by having that someone makes it all the better and easier. I never thought sleep could have a sense of humor... till now. I sometimes wish i could just sleep. Night y'all

This is the end

God doesn't want this relationship to be there anymore and nether do I. The pain and hate has gone on long enough. "Find new friends" He has put me though so much... Kissing another girl in my room. Going back and forth. "get out of my head, heart and life. Leave me one last time and stay gone. Go back to the marines... do whatever you want and just stay gone. stay away from me forever. I gave you everything and you burned it in front of my eyes. I have nothing left to give and now i realize that my heart isn't the cold one. it is yours. you go to other girls to satisfy the pain you've caused me and yourself. This is were I walk away and will never look back. just as you faced boot-camp and looked to God for comfort. I am giving God all the peaces of my heart and letting Him put them back together. My heart is in his hands now. Away from you and all your lies and deceits, all your tricks and temptations. You need to take the time to grow up. and i do hope that one day you will and find someone to love and be with you. it just wont be me. There is no more tears to shed, they are all gone now. The love i feel has changed. I forgive you for all you've done. but forgiving and trusting is two different things entirely. I will not doubt that i made the right choice. you've shown me what you have chosen by your actions... a child plays the "he hurt me so ill hurt him card" you just cant forgive me. I will always love you but that love will be put in a small black box and put in the farthest darkest corner of my heart. there it will remain. that is more than you deserve from me... i deserve better. you are putting me though hell. i cant stand for it no more. it will be hard yes. but i am not alone and i will get though this... goodbye for this is the end.

Key

Keys... So many keys. Keys; for doors and chests, lockets, and gates, the key word, key to a riddle, the key to some one, key to friendship, key to a concept, key to a heart, but the key I'm going to focus on is the key to value... There many boxes in this world and the concept is to find the right box. The box with that perfectness to it. It has the treasure inside. The treasure that was only meant for you and only you. You don't even want or appreciate any other box with someone Else's treasure in it. There are boxes with deceiving treasures that you might think you want. Those are the boxes that you want to especially look out for. There is a catch... The box is lock. The key? Before you even find the box you have to make the key. In order to make the key... only you can know that. Find it within your heart. Many people fail, many people also find the false boxes many times before they know how to make the key and find their box. The crazy and best part is... you are the key. I know, I know... I gave away the secret. However I only said what the key is... not how to make it.

So now that I have your interest and got you excited for the adventure, action, challenge and whatever else that will come into your path. I must warn you this will be no easy task. No no no you are very mistaken if you think it would be easy. O sure you already have the key, but you only know that because I told you, so swallow your pride.That's the whole point though. The path that your starting down will tare you apart, break you down and challenge you to the point of no return. Sadly I'm easy going... so I'll tell you. It is at that point when you give it all and know your going to lose it and you are content and willing to fall. That is when you find it. HAHA! I'm not gunna tell you what "it" is. So evil I know, but it ain't my fault. Just know that. So anyway, back to you. Why do this you ask? Fabulous question, you do this because after all the pain, trials and extreme adventures you get to finally open that box, yes I know you can find the box, that isn't the hard part. Opening it is, then you get to see the treasure within. It will be worth it. Strangely enough, all that you went through is what makes the treasure so powerful, so worth it, so special and so yours.

Once this is all over, look back and I promise you will see that you have changed. You wont be that proud, self-centered, jerk that you once were. Yes I did say jerk. Changing was the key to finding the key. Ironic I know, but don't look at me. I don't make the rules or anything just the one to hopefully give you the chance and some insight in fining the box. There are those that don't hear me and go do it on their own. Fine, they can do it how they want, it's their choice. Those are they that need it even more unfortunately. All I'm trying to say and the main thing you need to know is find the innocence within, and keep it there. Don't destroy the innocence because once it's completely gone, you will never get it back. And on that note... Good luck!

Hold me tight... Then let me go.

It's been months since I've seen you. You say that you've been watching me. Watching me live a day to day life. Watched; watched me clean, and work, sweat, and drive, watched me cry, die, and change. You've been my little stoker, and somehow I don't mind. I wished and waited, then gave up and moved on. You were once my protector, but now your gone. I defend myself from the world now. Alone. For months you've watched me struggle and fall. Get up, wipe off the dirt and blood then move on. I'm good at ignoring the pain now. It's not there anymore. Slowly my heart has grown cold and black, pushing emotion from my life. I am strong and cold. A survivor, a worrier. I can do anything I want without anyone; no one to keep in mind, no one to worry about, to impress, to take care of, to fight with, to share with, no one to hold me, to feel, to embrace, to comfort me, to love. No one at all. I am strong and independent, but also alone. I am small and alone. Being observed like a fish in a tank of crystal water. I am. This is what I have become. Not for long. I will break free the bands that keep me hostage to the cold depths of the survivor. I will not survive! I will Thrive!

Now your here in front of me after all this time. Wanting me, missing me and hoping we can be one again. You left so many times. Why should I believe that this time will be any different? Your are my gypsy. Fate compels you to run. Even from the one you love. The hardest thing is to love someone that wont stop leaving and disappointing you. I know you are stronger, but who am I to change you. Only you can change yourself. So here we are. Uncontrollably drawn to each other. Individually, stronger apart, yet a powerful explosion when together. All to natural that I don't even need to think. My body and heart take over and nuzzle my way into your chest, and just as forces pull us together, your protecting arms rap around me and hold me tight. "I love you with every fiber of my cold black heart." Unfortunately in is inevitable that you will go. Born with a gypsy soul, destined to run... Hold me tight... Then let me go.

Trapped

Many thousand years ago there was a great war in the Sky's. My mother and father were part of this war of the Angeletus and Demonics.

NOT DONE!

Run!

Sitting at one of the few tables that this small town coffee shop provides. I found myself staring out the window. I always have the same spot; the table in the back corner, right by a window. Laptop, note book, pen, phone and my regular coffee all laid out in front of me. With my worn leather bag leaned against the leg of the chair.
My bag contained: a book (in the proses of reading), an unopened pack of gum, clutch, pocket knife, and keys. "Travel light" was my life.

Just like any other summer day. People were going about there business. Doing there every day-to-day routine. I had just moved in only 2 months ago and like always I didn't take the time to get to know anyone and they didn't take the time to get to know me. I liked it this way. No attachments and no one to have going on and on about the problems they had. He did this. She did that... bla-bla-bla.

Hopefully this time I can actually settle down hear and stay for once. Hopefully... Not very likely though. With my history I haven't been able to stay in one place for more than 6 months tops. People were starting to know that I lived here and know I existed. I was someone more than the tourists that come through and stay a night every now and then. This fact alone put me on edge. Then again I kinda like this little town. It's not a nosy town like others I've been to.

Two days later I got a knock at the door. "Strange, Who would be coming here and at this late hour no less?" I mumbles to Revan who was on alert from the knock. I opened the door and saw a large man standing in the shadows in front of me. "Can I help you?" I asked. "Ma'am, I'm Officer Jones with the county police. We got a call from L.A. Asking about you and we've been requested to hold you." Replied the Officer. "O I see." I began, and thinking quickly, "Just give me a moment." I said closing the door on him. That would give me 4min and 23 seconds before he notices anything. "Revan! Car!" I order in a stern quiet voice. Revan at once jumped to his feet and went to the car in the garage. "Travel light" always came in handy... I grabbed my Backpack and threw it on the bed. Then I grabbed the clothes out of the two draws I had them in and stuffed them in the bag. In the bathroom was a bad of all my toiletries. Slinging my bag over my shoulder I went to the kitchen were I grabbed my warn leather bag off the back of a chair and went into the garage where Revan was sitting by the car. I opened the back door and Revan jumped in just before I flung my bags in behind him. The rest of my belongings were already in the trunk. I opened the garage door as I was jumping in the drivers seat and starting the car. Just as I back out I heard my front door being kicked in.

Run: Don't know the beginning or the end to this life style of running, but it is who I am. No one can hold me, no one can ground me. A curse that I have embraced as part of me. So many places to be seen. An unknown path to follow. Where I end up next only time will tell. I'm foolish to think I could ever settle down. Run, I must in order to survive. Like an eagle born to fly I was born to run.

I asked...

I asked u if I was PRETTY, u said NO.

I asked you if I was FAT, u said YES OF COURSE.
I asked if u WANTED to be w/ me forever, u said NO.
I asked u if u would CRY if I walked away, u said NO.
I had heard too much, and needed to leave,
and as I walked away...

U grabbed my arm and told me to stay.
U said..Ur not PRETTY, your BEAUTIFUL.
The only thing FAT, or BIG about u is ur HEART.
I don't WANT to be w/u forever, I NEED to be w/u forever.
And, baby. I wouldn't CRY if you walked away...
I would DIE.

Forget

Do you even think about me?

Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?

In the middle of the night when you awake...

Are you calling out my name?

For get him
Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss,
His warm embrace
Forget the love you once knew,
Remember he has someone new
Forget him when they play your song,
Remember when you cried all night long
Forget how close you two were,
Remember he has chosen her
Forget you memorized his walk,
Forget the way he use to talk
Forget the things he use to say,
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh, forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved, it's past
Forget he said he'd leave you never
Remember that he's gone forever...

It's only me missing you...
I love you.

Time

Time: To some time passes slowly. An hour seems like an eternity. To others there simply is never enough. Then there is where time just doesn't exists.
Remember sitting in class (this could be so long ago) feeling as if you had somewhere better to be. There was something better you could be doing. This is when you find yourself staring at the clock watching the seconds tick by. That's when you realize what your doing, looking away trying to forget the time so it will go by faster just to find yourself looking at the clock again and it has only been a min. Time is frozen and doesn't want to move.
Busy, busy, busy,... Running around with so many places to go. So many things that you need to do and get done. Driving. Phone calls. Yelling people everywhere, calling out orders and commands. So many people rushing around on the streets... so fast they are going. Where are they going so fast. Days, Weeks, Months, Years pass so quickly by us that the soon slur together. Looking back and wonder where has the time gone and yet nothing has changed.
Time has no meaning, no beginning, and no end. Sitting on a hill watching the fun rise. In a deep dream that go on and on. The most important is simply being with that one person that makes you whole. When your with them nothing else matters. Doesn't matter where you are or what your doing time is never the issue. It's only until your separated that time becomes frozen and only when your together your free. Living life as it comes. Enjoying the world in all in has to offer. Live life as it was meant to be experienced. Taken step by step, stopping to enjoy the little things so that when you do stop you see the future, look to the past be happy and learn from it. Then move on and continue to thrive in life and don't be afraid to give yourself to that one person and you just cant live without.

Fallen Angel

I scream, and no sound escapes these white lips. Pain yet numbness devourers the veins that run though every inch on my body. All is quiet and nothing can be done. I am engulfed in a pillar of light that creates a wall of darkness around me. No where to go, no where to run or see beyond this circle of light that surrounds me. I can feel the creatures lurking in the darkness just waiting for me. Waiting for the perfect moment when I sercome to the pain that screams to every nerve. The stomach twisting feeling that only trolls can give you. He twists the tubes going in and coming out of your stomach causing all food-like substances to give a reaction of putridness. It seems as though the elves dropped a rock into my heart and it hit the bottom with a great thud leaving a trail of heart wrenching pain behind and sitting heavily at the bottom. My eyes burn as the tears swell in them. Thick as blood and blinding that the light seems to dim and the darkness comes closer. The blood in my veins boil as the poison spread. How could I, how could any angel come to this situation. I was born to fly and protect. My place is in the stars and clouds, not in this dark forest broken. A fallen angel, grounded to the cold earth has never been heard of and now I've shamed the name. Angel, no, I have fallen..... To fly again? With these broken wings? Who knows?